Refining Faith

Hope is essential to the lives we lead.

Hope is a scary thing to lose.

As I have written in previous posts the season I have been going through has been extremely difficult. There have been days where I didn't even want to get out bed, and days it has taken everything out of me to even desire my next breath. I lost hope.

However, as the days get a little easier -- the pain less crippling and more manageable, and as I begin to have more good days than bad -- I have received hope for the season's near end, and I have begun to see the value of this time.

I had coffee with a wise friend the other day and he referred to our hearts as something that constantly need to undergo a refining process. He used gold as the example.

To purify gold it needs to be subjected to intense temperatures and liquified. Once in its liquid form the impurities within the gold will rise to the surface and then can be scraped off. 

My first thought about this was "oh cool good to know", but as I thought about it just a little more I found and realized that our hearts and our faith are constantly being put through this purifying process.

Being subject to the refining fires within my own life I have seen an immense amount of some pretty ugly impurities rise to the surface: anger, hostility, the desire to numb, a great loss of faith, becoming detached, distant, unloving, and prideful are just a few.

It hasn't been pretty, and scraping off of these impurities has been slightly painful and very humbling. But it has been amazing to watch God work within myself the way He has.

The messy parts of my heart that I thought I dealt with a long time ago were needing some extra tending to, and old wounds were being cleaned and mended up properly. Within all of this I have been renewed of hope, and reminded of Christ's pure joy.

From a very deep low I've finally begun to see seeds of change. It's like the promise of spring after a terribly cold and harsh winter. God has begun to use people, books, music and an assortment of other things to refresh and renew my faith. He has been so gentle as to lead me back to a resting place, and pull me in to His heart. I am coming out of this season with a testimony of His faithfulness. I cannot help but praise and worship Him for what seems like the impossible work that is being done on my heart. I cannot begin to thank Him enough for the great love, grace and faith He has so eagerly and abundantly given to me.

We see so many trials in life. Loss, confusion, brokenness and to say they are just for our misery is a joke. We are being refined. We are being purified. We are building strength and character. So even when these seasons come, I see them as beautiful. They are a real pain, but beautiful. 

Although some days I don't understand, and many days I don't see the point, I know nothing is wasted.

In the end I am constantly amazed by the craftsmanship of my God. Nothing fails to shout of His glory.