I feel as if we go through these seasons multiple times throughout our entire lives, but definitely more frequently so from late high school all the way through your 20's.
Mine, specifically this time, is carrying the weight of a need for maturity.
"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways." -- 1 Corinthians 13:11
It's time to grow up.
It's time to start stepping into womanhood.
My mind as of lately has been flooded with questions:
What does it even mean to be a woman?
What is my role as a woman biblically?
What characteristics does a godly woman possess?
What is my value and my worth according to God?
If I am to get married, what am I looking for in a godly man?
What characteristics does a godly man possess?
What is the role of a man biblically?
If I am to live life as a single well,
How do I use my femininity, and my womanhood to its fullest potential?
How do I serve God well as a woman?
What is my place in the church?
Women are a creation of the Lord different from men, yet not less than men, and they compliment men. Women are uniquely created with different gifts, strengths, roles, and ways of reflecting God, and I'm trying to figure all of that out.
My childish ways have never been more evident to me in my entire life. The way I get upset when I don't get what I want, the ways I seek to receive attention, the ways I manage conflict and communicate, etc. It has given me that "oh crap, there is a lot of work to be done here" kind of gut-check. I have a lot of growing up to do.
Although this season is weighty, it has already been extremely beautiful. I feel as if it is a season of preparation, and readying. For what? I am not sure, but I know it's good.
God has so graciously filled my heart with curiosity and drive to seek the answers to my questions; to seek out wise counsel in His people, and to seek out answers in His Word, in prayer, in sermons, and books. Then God has also given me the desire to apply that knowledge, and to walk in faith according to what I learn and know. Not only accumulating facts, but applying biblical principals to my heart and truly knowing them.
One book specifically has budded a great passion within my soul to continue to seek God out for answers of biblical manhood, and womanhood. It's a book called Good: The Joy of Christian Manhood and Womanhood, and it's free to download! It's amazing, and it's brought so much perspective to our biblical roles, and I'm only halfway through it.
For me I know this season is going to be far from short. There is so much to be done within my heart, but I am well beyond excited to see what God is going to do with me. I am beyond ready to surrender my self wholly to God and to allow His hands to work mightily and that I might gain life through losing it (Matthew 16:24-27). I am ready to be content in every season because I truly know who God is (Philippians 4:10-13). I am ready for God to be enough for me (2 Corinthians 12:9). I am ready to be confident and strong because "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31). I am ready to be steady and stable no longer being tossed back and forth by this life (Ephesians 4:13-14). I am ready to carry strength and dignity, laughing at the days to come, with a great fear for the Lord (Proverbs 31). and I am ready to hold a gentle and quiet spirit because I trust the Lord so I no longer have to be anxious or worried (1 Peter 3:4).
I am not there yet. I still lack a lot, and am immature in many ways. I know that this process of maturing and growing is going to take time, and most definitely won't happen over night. It probably will even be a consistent lesson through my entire life. I know that it is going to take a little digging, a little pain, and a little healing. It is solely by the work of the Holy Spirit that these things can be done within me, but I trust that God has allowed me to see in order that I may grow. I am so ready, so excited, and so open to what God has in store. I serve a mighty, gracious and powerful God. He is the one I can trust to do these great works within me; to show me what it means to step into maturity, and what being a godly woman looks like. Who knows better what I was created for than the creator?
It is time for healing, it is time for growing, and it is time for me to step into womanhood.
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