Modest is Hottest

I know so many people have heard that silly, almost cliche, tag line for modesty. "Modest is Hottest". I've heard it so many times growing up in youth group and even later becoming a youth leader myself. I just listened. Besides when people told me that I'd marry a hot Christian man by covering my whole body up, I didn't question it. I never actually took any thought into why I need to dress modestly, but rather decided if church was telling me then I should do it.

Now that I have well grown out of the stage of listening to whatever people tell me I had never been approached with the topic of modesty again until the other night. I was sitting in the hot tub with a couple of my friends, and managed to strike up a conversation with a few other people that were in there with us. I don't know how it came up but it did. A girl piped up and said, "you don't want to hear my opinion on modesty its different than most". Obviously I was curious, so I asked her to explain what she meant genuinely wanting to hear her opinion. So she began to explain her views on modesty.

Her views went a little something along the lines of "it doesn't matter how we [women] dress, it is a man's responsibility to not view us as objects but as people". It kind of took me aback because I've never talked to anyone with that opinion before (curses growing up in a church). At the time I had no response to what she said. I simply told her that I couldn't say I agree nor disagree because I've never actually looked into it. She referred to an article she had read online and I actually think I found it.

This one: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/

I can very much see why she thinks that, and I don't necessarily completely disagree. It is a man's responsibility to respect us as women, and look at us as people and not dehumanize us. However with further thought and a little bit of research of my own I also think we should be respecting men by not making it harder for them to respectfully see us.

Ladies, I doubt if you are dressing yourself in a tiny skirt and a low cut blouse that shows off your cleavage, you look in the mirror and think, "I am going to be so well respected and honored wearing this". Most of the time you're dressing for male attention, and Lord knows you'll get it. I've even seen many outfits where not only are men distracted by the amount of skin you are showing but as a woman I am too. If I don't remember what your face looks like then it's probably not an outfit that condones "respectful eyes" from men.

Naturally nearly all men are visual. Only about 25 percent of woman are visual. This means that they are very aware of what they see and their brain is like a filing cabinet of pictures. Men can also receive physical pleasure from the simple fact of seeing a beautiful woman. That is why most companies market and advertise their product with beautiful women. Consciously or subconsciously men respond to that.

We also live in a country where porn is a multi-billion dollar industry and 90 percent of children are exposed to porn at least once between the ages of 8-16 and in most cases unintentionally. (http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics.html). So living in a society that already pollutes a man's mind with sexual images even at such a young age, maintaining a respectful image is already difficult. If a man is trying to maintain, find, or heal his view of women, dressing inappropriately will not help him get there.

Now I am most definitely not making an excuse for men. I believe very much so that men are called to be leaders in the bible. They are called to love women and that we are to work side by side. I think that almost everything that is in the article "Seeing a Woman" is pretty much spot on. Men should be stepping up, and especially teaching their sons this lesson. We however as Christian women should not be making this a harder process and we should be edifying (Proverbs 27:13), encouraging (1 Thess. 5:11), and loving our brothers well (1 Cor. 13:4-8). We should not be a stumbling block (2 Cor. 6:3), and if that means wearing a shirt that covers up your chest, and shorts that your butt doesn't hang out the back of... suck it up and do it.

Not only are you respecting your brother by dressing modestly, but you are respecting yourself. The sad truth is that this world is full of brokenness and sin. We live in a time where we can believe that people should act a certain way that is good, but they won't because things are no longer as they should be since the fall in the garden of Eden (Gen. 3). We are saturated in a world that doesn't care if they should be respecting you with their eyes, so you have to be careful how you dress because of the attention you will receive. The best way you can respect yourself is not showing the most precious and beautiful parts of yourself to the whole world, and allowing your body to be a sanctuary for your eyes, and your husband's eyes only.

We also should be dressing to portray how we want be seen. So if we want to be respected we have to dress that way. If we want to be portrayed as a woman who respects herself and loves the Lord then we should dress accordingly (1 Tim. 2:9-10).

I'm mostly just saying that if we want to continue to grow in Christ, and continue to hold healthy relationships with each other we need to help each other out and we can't start placing the blame on one person or the other, one sex or the other, one race or the other. We are all sinful and the only way to cure that is Jesus' blood and having a heart of repentance. We are one body. So we have to work together like one.